Getting married again, at Gretna Green!!!

ANOUNCEMENT: We just back from the most relaxing holiday ever in the middle of no where with no phone or internet and nothing to do but walk and study. I wanted to let you all know that Simon and I renewed our wedding vows at Gretna Green to celebrate 20 years of marriage and being together 28 years this month. I arranged it all as a surprise for Simon he knew nothing about it until we arrived at Gretna Green, he was delighted and said it was the best day of his life!!! Not only did we renew our vows we actually got married AGAIN under the old Scottish Laws and we were given a marriage certificate too! The ceremony we took part in was called 'Hand Fasting' where they bound both of our left hands together and we made promises to each other. We married at the old blacksmiths anvil which is world famous and is still the most romantic place in the world to marry and our ceremony consisted of just the two of us, the registrar and our dog Kane who they allowed in to be best man!!!! That's why he is wearing the tartan dickie bow in our photos!!! It was so very intimate and I was so happy I cried, I actually couldn't believe I pulled it off because we were so remote I had to drive 20 miles to get to a computer for phone numbers and to make the arrangements. I made the phone call to Gretna at 4.45pm and the shops were closing at 5pm that left me 15 minutes to find a dress, flowers and a shirt for Simon. Because the wedding was booked for the NEXT DAY! Now because it was a walking holiday I had no make up, no shoes (only a pair of leather boots and walking shoes) and neither of us brought any good clothes with us as we intended to be home every night snuggled up by the fire. On top of that, I had to pretend to Simon I was buying a dress for the Christmas party which this year is a masquerade ball, so I had ten minutes to find the dress fit it on, and try to find shoes to match that's why the dress is black lace because Simon thought I was buying it for our Christmas party! I didn't find any shoes so had to wear my winter boots. However our marriage ceremony was NOT about clothes, the dress, or my hair and make up, it was about two people being in love and wanting to marry each other again and to take time out in the awful world we live in to remember how much we mean to each other. Simon had brought a pair of black jeans, so I bought him a shirt to go with the jeans after sending him out of the shop pretending I was buying him a Christmas present. The shirt he is wearing in the photo was the only shirt in the shop and they didn't sell ties or dickie bows! Then I had to hide everything from him and get him to Gretna where I gave him the news. He is usually the romantic one between us, so he loved the whole idea, we were both very happy and it was a wonderful intimate day for us where I told him in my vows that nothing had ever beat us, and nothing ever will. OK we get knocked down but we are never down for long and one of us always picks the other one up. Simon picks me up with his enormous quiet strength and I pick Simon up with humor and make him laugh and smile. Nothing can part us or keep us down, nothing ever did and nothing ever will, not even cancer. I wasn't going to share this as it still feels so new, but Simon has been diagnosed with prostrate cancer, right bang slap in the middle of one of the worst years I have been having with my legal battle. But I decided to share to show others that no matter how hard life gets, no matter what life throws at you, you can still shut the world out if only for a day, and be happy or take time to love or to remember your strengths and your achievements; I'm also delighted to announce I WILL be graduating this year as I am nearly finished my Thesis and can safely say I will complete my degree on time. I was supposed to graduate last year, but the whole case blew up again and left me spinning and distraught, and feeling robbed and cheated when I had to ask for another year to complete my studies. I want those who thought they destroyed me to know that they haven't won, I can still achieve, I can still love and I can be loved right back by a brave wonderful man who now has his own battles to win as well as my battles too. But even though tomorrow may be awful, and the day after. We managed to stand still right in the middle of a huge storm and face the worse of it. And we are not done yet, we are about to face a different kind of battle, but that won't knock us down either. I want those who abused me to know, especially my parents and my siblings and my old teachers at primary school. And the pedophile ring in Dalkey, you did NOT steal everything, I am NOT just an abuse victim, I am a wife, a mother, a student, a friend, a fighter, a warrior, a survivor, I'm not and NEVER will be just your victim, you WILL not define me, I decide who and what I am, I always have, and I always will. Tomorrow probably will be tough, and the day after, just like many days before, I have been to hell and back a thousand times over, no doubt I will go back again a thousand times more, but even in hell I can fight and win, or take the time to look around me, and create my own destiny. I just wanted to share with you all that there is love out there, that we can find love no matter what we have been through, we are lovable, we can love and be loved, we can achieve, we can fight, and we can overcome, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but there is hope, you can shut the door, bolt the world out, and step out of the nightmare even for a day. Despite the fact our car broke down on the way home and it took ten hours to complete what should have been a four hour journey I smiled all the way home even though we were tired and cold nothing could steal our joy. Even though we return to face the real world this week of hospital appointments and decisions to make. I feel a strange sense of calm and peace and strength, a feeling of that whatever happens we will be OK. I never really talk about this either how I believe in God, and recently things were so very tough that all I knew to do was to go to God and pray, pray for strength and courage, pray for the ability to carry on my battle in Ireland because I can't give up now, though it is tempting of course, and I was riddled with guilt as I tried to support Simon through the maze of tests etc and apply myself to the legal battle too. I felt I should have been more focused for Simon, instead of barely getting through each day. The legal battle is so very hard on its own, so to to have cancer to deal with on top of it is unbearably hard on both of us. So I went to God and I prayed for his guidance and strength and for peace, I was so troubled I desperately needed the gift of peace, if you have peace, you have everything, but I also needed to have courage and strength, it is not easy to hold onto peace, courage and strength, and that's why I want to share. To offer hope if only for today, before the real world knocks on my door again tomorrow, but for today I feel strong and at peace, and in my world and with what I am facing and coping with day to day, that is a miracle. I have been blessed with the miracle of faith and hope and courage and strength and joy. And I have been blessed with love from a wonderful strong honest reliable man who still doesn't ask any thing of me or expect me to give up on Noleen or my siblings or to give up fighting for myself, he still wants me to battle on against injustice and betrayal and when I ask him why, he replies 'because it is the right thing to do' Even when his own health is at risk he still encourages me to fight on, against the injustices and betrayals I have suffered because its the right thing to do. And with that kind of love and support is it any wonder I feel at peace, and feel that no matter what we will both be OK? I am truly blessed.